so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
All the doctor said was why
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
