Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
