i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
