So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
should my penis look like a turkey
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
