But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Randomize
