We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
