last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
