She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you inspire me to be a worse person
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
