You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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