Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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