I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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