Whod you bang
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Don't make out with my wife yet
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
