im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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