finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
