Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
