last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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