problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
