just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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