There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
