OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
