do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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