Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
