dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
