So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
