Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
