I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
you never un-have a 4some
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
