we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
