Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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