Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
