we have officially mastered the walk of shame
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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