someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
