"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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