wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
