Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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