i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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