Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
