my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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