well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
