That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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