What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
