The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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