just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i believe in u and ur pee
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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