Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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