i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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