walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
