i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
