actually, I'm a sock model
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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