The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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