i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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