And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The feeling are messing with the penis
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
