Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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