I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think I sprained my soul last night
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize