I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize