Where is the hickey?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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