when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
