i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
