so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
wow bdsm is so cute
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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