He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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