why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
