And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
