I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
