I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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