So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It all started with a game of naked twister.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
