chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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