Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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