Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
