just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He has the fingertips of a God
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
